The pride= My Identity?
As I grew up, I accumulated a series of small accomplishments like other kids. As the number of the accomplishments goes up, my pride in them got bigger.
What happened was the fattened pride got in my way of doing/learning something, which was learning English. In my analysis, that pride is supposed to be valid in certain fields on which I have made some results I am proud of. Without my censoring, however, I unconsciously let the pride establish itself under the name of my identity. In short, the pride has become my standard and who I think I am.
The problem of my pride and learning English
To me, learning English as my second language is try and error. By trying, making mistakes, and correcting them, I slowly learn how to use English as a tool to communicate. Therefore, making mistakes is a very important yet simultaneously unavoidable step.
My pride initially could not accept and allow mistakes to take place. Thus, I used to end up choosing “safe” path, which was doing familiar English exercises over and over in a protected environment like a study room where chi-chat is prohibited.
(As my defence, it was definitely one way of learning English, but the rate at which my English improves was slow.)
What I come to realise over time…..
The longer I learn English and older I get, the deeper I come to understand the nature of learning on my own terms. Retrospectively, the time I learnt something quite rapidly was the time I simply jumped into doing it with my ego turned off and with myself put in a state of allowing things, both good and bad to me, to happen organically.
If I am allowed to pass to someone, who is struggling with learning English, advice, I would like to share this:
“throw away small prides, and try & error with your ego turned off”